Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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