"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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