I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
