I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
