morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
