the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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