Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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