How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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