i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
