Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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