Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
