Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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