the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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