i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
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I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
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There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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