cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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