The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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