Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
