I just gift wrapped bread.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize