I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
