Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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