i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
