hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
