After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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