Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize