we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
my god I love twenty year old dicks
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
