people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
