He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
