No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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