who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
