I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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