Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
