There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
me + whiskey = a bad person
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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