About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
