i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize