Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
