I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
