margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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