my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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