I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize