and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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