i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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