I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
