i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
