In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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