What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
