My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
