Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
