i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
