I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize