Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
