Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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