On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
