I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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