There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
